can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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