So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
