I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He did a backflip because drugs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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