This girl is more easily done than said...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
