Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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