butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize