He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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