How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
