We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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