i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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