Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
