I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Nicole vs. Life
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Buhtt sex?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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