Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
