I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
