when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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