the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We have so much sex to catch up on
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think people are normalizing furries
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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