1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
