you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
