I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
how does that bad decision feel?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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