This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
