Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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