we have pet lesbian snakes
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
