You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
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