There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When are your genitals available?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
