Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
