I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
did i just pee glitter
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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