I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
