what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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