Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
