it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
