And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize