She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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