I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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