I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
