I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
