walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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