You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We are all done wearing pants today
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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