Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
