Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
