My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
