Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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