I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
