i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
