My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
