some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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