THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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