craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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