I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
