Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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