At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and she was petting her beer can
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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