Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
only you would photoshop your dick
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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