rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The beers last night were like the tears from god
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
