He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
