I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
