I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
