remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize