He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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