I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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