I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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