pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
