i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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