my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
